A blog named BETTY

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

The Chad Who Dangles No More

(Yet another blog entry about health, BUT NOT ABOUT MINE this time! It's about Hubby's medical care, and I share this with permission. Which I probably received only because he knows that no one reads this--not even him.)

For several years, Hubby has had a little hanging piece of extra skin--a skinny blob, shall we say--on the underside of his arm, near the armpit. One day, he arbitrarily decided to start calling it his "Dangling Chad." The name stuck. And, due to his fondness for parading Chad around and sticking it in squealing children's (our own....as far as I know ~cringe~) faces, the kids became very familiar with it.

Some day, at least one of our kids will be history class, studying the 2004 presidential race, and the teacher will ask "Does anyone know what a "Dangling Chad" is?" Can you picture it like I do? My sweet child raising his/her hand excitedly and offering up the details of my husband's skin mutations? That's gonna hurt the psyche. And, since we're on the subject, THAT'S NOT ALL. He's setting them up for humiliation on oh so many fronts. Like when he wants the dishwasher started and bellows "Fire up the BARBIE!!" Or--the one that has already affected every single one of the poor little people--how he uses his middle finger to point at things. (His pointer finger nail was mangled in high school, so he trained himself to not put it out where people would see it.) All four of them somehow learned this habit as toddlers (does NO ONE pay attention to me? Hello!) and each of them has come home scorned from it when they hit school.

So....back to Chad....
A couple of months ago, Hubby decides to spruce himself up a bit. One of the targets of this mini-makover? Yup...Chad. Ten seconds in the doctor's office and Chad is no more. While most of the kids are barely stirred by this event, Shnookie 2 takes it especially hard. Well, not really, but she and Hubby had quite a few giggles over her 'bereavement.' After all, she was the one who spent the most time with Chad dangling in her face, since her dad liked to try to trick her into "gnawing it off" for him. (TMI???) I guess she'd bonded--maybe some sort of Stolkholm syndrome?? Anyhow, she was somewhat mullified when we assured her that Chad has gone to a much better place. She just wishes she could've kept his remains.