A blog named BETTY

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


Today I am angry with the world wide web. You may notice the irony in me using the world wide web as a vehicle to vent about the world wide web, but here’s where I’ll get to go “HA!” followed by a long explanation concluding with “I rest my case.”

After a long convoluted thought process the other night (yup—lost the remote again), I realized that I have lost a precious and significant portion of my life to the dummies who decided to call it the world wide web.

Think about it. Sure, it’s only 3 little syllables to utter aloud. World Wide Web. HOWEVER, who ever calls it by its whole name? We are, afterall a shortcut society who will use an acronym even when it takes longer than just saying the actual phrase. THUS, we end up using the longest letter in the alphabet--DUH-BULL-YOU—not once, but 3 times, over and over everyday all over the world.

Based on the statistic that 82% of statistics are made up on the spot, I feel confident saying that this waste of breath has robbed the average person of .75% of his or her life. That may only equal a month (or not…I can’t be bothered with math), but that’s a whole month one could spend playing Farkle.

Let’s face it…there are so many other names these buffoons could have given the web, even if they wanted to stick with the catchy alliteration. Global Guidance Generator…Cosmic Connection Circulator… Intercontinental Information Infuser. And that’s just off the top of my thesaurus.

In conclusion, I rest my case.

Be sure and tune into my next rant at ggg.ablognamedBETTY. com.


A Musing Mom (Taylorclan6) said...

I am always fascinated by a person who uses alliteration in a sentence.

Jeni said...

Oh my gosh, this is so hilarious! I just read it out loud to Isaac and we have been giggling to ourselves about it (not sure he'd approve of my use of the word "giggling" in conjunction with his name).

It makes me feel so much better to know that Tessa's arm did the same thing. It's also nice to know that I am in the company of a fellow child arm-yanker. :)

Nat Attack said...

Ha! As someone who works in the industry, I'm happy to tell you that those of us forced to say it ALL. THE. TIME. have shortened it (and it's perfectly acceptable) to dub-dub-dub. Hooray for abbreviating alliterations.