Hard to Believe

We got back from my family reunion today, and it was wonderful. I will probably need to sleep for 2 days straight, but it's a small price to pay. I've got tons of great pics and memories to share, but that will be for another post. The 2nd day of the reunion we got word that my mother-in-law, Dixie passed away. She was 90 years old, and of course you expect those things to happen, but it was still such a shock. She's been a big part of our lives for the last couple of years. It's just hard to believe she's gone.

Having this happen while we were miles away at the reunion seemed like horrible timing at first (not that there IS a good time for death, of course...), but I think being surrounded by so much family was good for us. Everyone was very supportive. Even Hubby, who was surrounded by non-blood relatives (NBRs--sorry Mom, but I think it should stay) seemed to be buoyed up. We had to pull the kids out of their fun activities to tell them, and it was very emotional. Having cousins to go back to really helped them.

Saying "She's in a better place now" is certainly one of those trite but true statements for Dixie. I know people mean heaven when they say that; in this case, however, it's more than just that. Dixie was pretty much 'lost' for the last 4 years...lost in a world of confusion that robbed her of a lot of joy. How wonderful it must be for her to once again be the spunky, articulate woman she was...to be able to HEAR again, and to see things as they really were and are without that fog of confusion and mistrust that had plagued her recently. It makes me smile to think of her up there, re-connecting with her loved ones, and mixing it up with the locals. It was probably a day to remember for the staff at the pearly gates!

I've often wondered if I'd be heavy with regret when she passed on. I wasn't always so patient with her, and there were times the frustration with her illness overshadowed the love. I'm happy to report that--so far, anyway--I'm just reminded of the good times and grateful to have been a part of them. I'm sad that they've ended, and still in a little shock.

Checking our caller ID today, I saw the call from her care center to give us the news, and then just 2 calls before that, a call from her. That's how it feels when you lose someone you love...they're there, and then suddenly they're just not. It reminds me again of what a blessing it is to know the bigger picture. It doesn't take away the sting, but it certainly pads the void.

Here's to you, Mom!