I have sharing time in Primary this week....err....tomorrow. (It's only 10:00 am, so I'm getting a head start. No procrastinating here, huh-uh, no way.)
Primary is the childrens' organization in the LDS church. During 2/3 of our Sunday meeting time, the kids meet together...like Sunday School. Sharing time is when one lucky adult gets to teach all of them together. I'm pretty sure that's the official definition. hehe
So I'm looking online for something to steal, err inspire me, and--wonders of wonders--I get totally side-tracked. I found this cute site called "Overheard in the Ward." (www.overheardintheward.com) Naturally, I must share with you something I read there, so that we both may be inspired and edified:
GAS THERAPY
CTR 5 teacher: What is something you love to do? Something that makes you happier than anything else?
5-year-old: Farting.
Now I have to get back to working this into my sharing time. Don't you wish you were in my ward??
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Let the Twilight frenzy begin
I have a teenage daughter. She has devoured all of the Twilight books. She and her Edward-loving friends have been looking forward to the movie. Me?? Not so much. I have read all the books and actually quite enjoyed them. Part of the reason is that they far surpassed my expectations, which warms my cockles because the writer is a BYU graduate. I'm very proud of her. (No doubt she lives for my approval and this is the best news she's heard all year. #1 selling book? Eh. A movie contract? Yawn. Erin Black's thumbs up? WAHOO!!)
Reading my niece-in-law, Brittney's blog post about the movie today reminded me that my expectations for the movie are pretty low. And this time I highly doubt I'll be proven terribly wrong. I was able to get through the cheesy lines in the book by reading them really fast. Not possible in a movie. Just the trailer has caused me some queasiness. The SPOOF on the trailer, however, deserves an Oscar. It has made me laugh out loud more than once. If you haven't seen it, you simply must:
I love the part where he runs after the hot girl saying "I'm immortal!"
Now that's good cinema.
Reading my niece-in-law, Brittney's blog post about the movie today reminded me that my expectations for the movie are pretty low. And this time I highly doubt I'll be proven terribly wrong. I was able to get through the cheesy lines in the book by reading them really fast. Not possible in a movie. Just the trailer has caused me some queasiness. The SPOOF on the trailer, however, deserves an Oscar. It has made me laugh out loud more than once. If you haven't seen it, you simply must:
I love the part where he runs after the hot girl saying "I'm immortal!"
Now that's good cinema.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
The family who drinks together...
Pardon me for a moment, but I must brag on my husband. Since this blog is as close to a family history as we'll probably ever get, I want it recorded in the annals of time that my husband is a wonder. He started a company--all alone, from the ground up, in an industry he knew nothing about--three years ago. Two days ago He sold it for a tidy little sum. I am just so proud of him! I don't think there are many people in this world who would even attempt that, much less actually make it work. It astounds me! I want to be him when I grow up.
Friday night we held a wild celebration of the sale, wherein we drank bottle after bottle of the apple-variety bubbly. Here's a photo of the wild party (still no photoshop, sorry):
Friday night we held a wild celebration of the sale, wherein we drank bottle after bottle of the apple-variety bubbly. Here's a photo of the wild party (still no photoshop, sorry):
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Oh, yeah, none taken!
A conversation immediately after picking up Shnookie4's little friend:
Little friend: You need to clean out your car, I guess. It stinks in here. (pause) NO OFFENSE.
Shnookie4: Maybe it's YOU that stinks. NO OFFENSE.
All of us laughing, but me secretly high-fiving the Shnook.
Little friend: You need to clean out your car, I guess. It stinks in here. (pause) NO OFFENSE.
Shnookie4: Maybe it's YOU that stinks. NO OFFENSE.
All of us laughing, but me secretly high-fiving the Shnook.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Idle hands
Shnookie4's last soccer game was on Saturday. Two hours before the start of the game, I decided that I had time to wash her socks, so I put them in with a load of like-minded clothing. I have had the same washer and dryer for TEN YEARS and I'm still in denial about how incredibly s-l-o-w they are. 15 minutes before we had to leave, I check the dryer, and the socks are still beyond moist. So I take out all of the other clothes, believing the personal attention will accelerate the drying. Not. We've done EVERYTHING else we can possible do to get ready, and they've still made no progress.
Shnookie4 is very punctual, so the sock drama is stressing her out big time. In one of those rare mom 'ah-ha' moments, I decide to secure the socks in the passenger window and let them flap in the breeze while we speed to soccer. Except that we get behind not one, but two Grandma's out for a leisurely drive. I am not against Grandma's and their need to drive slowly (it's probably best that we slow down at some point in life), and I didn't even really care if we got to our destination on time. BUT what I did need was as much kinetic energy as possible to blow dry my baby's socks. It was kinda like the movie SPEED. Except that we were racing for foot comfort instead of a bunch of strangers lives. You can see how high the stakes were.
I managed to get ahead of Grandma #2 (who didn't care for that much, btw, even though I followed all laws and made no hand gestures whatsoever). And, as is inevitable in these cases, I got stopped at a light 10 blocks ahead, and there she is, right behind me. I mention that tidbit to Shnookie4, and she turns to look behind, saying, "I want to see what the grandma is doing." Pause. "Probably knitting." When I laughed, she said, "What?? That's what Grandma's do." I think the fact that Grandma Williams was at our house the night before, knitting in the 10 seconds between serving trick-or-treaters, had something to do with her assumption. Now I'm wondering if maybe my mom does knit at stop lights when no one is looking.
Shnookie4 is very punctual, so the sock drama is stressing her out big time. In one of those rare mom 'ah-ha' moments, I decide to secure the socks in the passenger window and let them flap in the breeze while we speed to soccer. Except that we get behind not one, but two Grandma's out for a leisurely drive. I am not against Grandma's and their need to drive slowly (it's probably best that we slow down at some point in life), and I didn't even really care if we got to our destination on time. BUT what I did need was as much kinetic energy as possible to blow dry my baby's socks. It was kinda like the movie SPEED. Except that we were racing for foot comfort instead of a bunch of strangers lives. You can see how high the stakes were.
I managed to get ahead of Grandma #2 (who didn't care for that much, btw, even though I followed all laws and made no hand gestures whatsoever). And, as is inevitable in these cases, I got stopped at a light 10 blocks ahead, and there she is, right behind me. I mention that tidbit to Shnookie4, and she turns to look behind, saying, "I want to see what the grandma is doing." Pause. "Probably knitting." When I laughed, she said, "What?? That's what Grandma's do." I think the fact that Grandma Williams was at our house the night before, knitting in the 10 seconds between serving trick-or-treaters, had something to do with her assumption. Now I'm wondering if maybe my mom does knit at stop lights when no one is looking.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Goodbye Aloha
While in Hawaii, I committed myself to take the Aloha spirit home with me--to live a little easier and not stress. A lot of this commitment stems from the knock-down, drag-out blues I encountered when I got back from Lake Powell. I just don't recover well from vacations; reality somehow knocks me on my fanny. (I know--how strange to prefer vacation life to real life! I'm a nut.)
So I was doing really well with the whole 'hang-loose' adjustment program--enjoying my kids, avoiding laundry, warming up Costco food. And then I got a call from the bishopbric on Wednesday night which sent Aloha back across the ocean. Yup. A talk in Sacrament Meeting. And 3 days to prepare. (I was filling in for someone else, thus the last-minute notice.)
(Because the LDS church operates with a lay ministry, members of our congregations take turns addressing the whole membership. The bishop and his counselors decide on a topic and then invite someone to speak on it--totally voluntary.)
Finally, Saturday night I got this talk all written, so I tested it out on Lance. It was 35 minutes long. (Poor guy! Although he was watching football through half of it. Can't blame him.) I was assigned just 10 minutes. So I started cutting stuff out (including the charming story of me as a 5-yr-old. sniff) and got it down to 20 minutes. I always talk faster when I'm nervous, so I figured that was good enough. I went to bed, got thinking about it and realized I'd written the wrong talk, got all panicky and then had scary showing-up-in-my-underwear dreams all night. (And let me tell ya--me in my underwear redefines 'scary' in a whole new way.)
Morning comes, and I have exactly 15 minutes to re-write my talk, which really made very little difference in the end...except for making me more nervous. We go to church, I sit on the stand, and eventually realize that 2 of the other speakers are no-shows. AND there are no announcements. (When does that happen, for crying out loud??) The scheduled final speaker (my friend, Debbie) leans over to me, panicking that she can't make up that much time. Remembering all of my cut-out 30-minutes of material, I tell her I'll take care of it. Fine. All is well. 10 minutes later, I suddenly realize I've left at home the sheets with all of the amazing quotes that tie my whole talk together. To my credit, I did not scream out loud. I just clamped my mouth tight and let my eyes shoot out of my head. Not noticeable at all.
In the end, my talk evidently went pretty well. I made up all of the parts of the quotes I couldn't remember--only using "blah, blah, blah" a few times--and I got to tell the charming story of me as a 5-yr-old afterall. I have to admit, though, I felt very underwhelmed with the whole thing when I sat down. The man snoring on the second row didn't help any. I comforted myself with the fact that it was over and the scary underwear dreams would at least subside. Much to my surprise, when the meeting ended, I received many kind compliments--more than I've ever received before. Go figure.
So I guess that man on the second row was just so dazzled that he slipped into a coma. Wouldn't be the first time. (tee hee)
So I was doing really well with the whole 'hang-loose' adjustment program--enjoying my kids, avoiding laundry, warming up Costco food. And then I got a call from the bishopbric on Wednesday night which sent Aloha back across the ocean. Yup. A talk in Sacrament Meeting. And 3 days to prepare. (I was filling in for someone else, thus the last-minute notice.)
(Because the LDS church operates with a lay ministry, members of our congregations take turns addressing the whole membership. The bishop and his counselors decide on a topic and then invite someone to speak on it--totally voluntary.)
Finally, Saturday night I got this talk all written, so I tested it out on Lance. It was 35 minutes long. (Poor guy! Although he was watching football through half of it. Can't blame him.) I was assigned just 10 minutes. So I started cutting stuff out (including the charming story of me as a 5-yr-old. sniff) and got it down to 20 minutes. I always talk faster when I'm nervous, so I figured that was good enough. I went to bed, got thinking about it and realized I'd written the wrong talk, got all panicky and then had scary showing-up-in-my-underwear dreams all night. (And let me tell ya--me in my underwear redefines 'scary' in a whole new way.)
Morning comes, and I have exactly 15 minutes to re-write my talk, which really made very little difference in the end...except for making me more nervous. We go to church, I sit on the stand, and eventually realize that 2 of the other speakers are no-shows. AND there are no announcements. (When does that happen, for crying out loud??) The scheduled final speaker (my friend, Debbie) leans over to me, panicking that she can't make up that much time. Remembering all of my cut-out 30-minutes of material, I tell her I'll take care of it. Fine. All is well. 10 minutes later, I suddenly realize I've left at home the sheets with all of the amazing quotes that tie my whole talk together. To my credit, I did not scream out loud. I just clamped my mouth tight and let my eyes shoot out of my head. Not noticeable at all.
In the end, my talk evidently went pretty well. I made up all of the parts of the quotes I couldn't remember--only using "blah, blah, blah" a few times--and I got to tell the charming story of me as a 5-yr-old afterall. I have to admit, though, I felt very underwhelmed with the whole thing when I sat down. The man snoring on the second row didn't help any. I comforted myself with the fact that it was over and the scary underwear dreams would at least subside. Much to my surprise, when the meeting ended, I received many kind compliments--more than I've ever received before. Go figure.
So I guess that man on the second row was just so dazzled that he slipped into a coma. Wouldn't be the first time. (tee hee)
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
It's a very bad news/very good news thing
Bad News:
My laptop completely crashed last Sunday. Right before church, when I was trying to print out the parts for the Primary Program I'd spent all week writing. Hubby went home during the 2nd hour to try and fix it. During the 3rd hour, he came to church, pulled me out into the hall, and told me that everything got deleted. EVERYTHING. Ever one to handle disappointment well, I burst into tears right there. It wasn't the primary program that I mourned, or my Dad's life history I've worked on for a month (those realizations happened later)--it was all of those family pictures I hadn't gotten around to backing up. Wave after wave of ugly crying.
Of course, we rushed Lappy to the computer doctor, and she's been there all week. The prognosis is iffy, although fairly positive (I think. I'm no computer doctor...I just play one on TV). We should hear today how much of her they were able to save.
Good news:
I know, usually the bad news/good news program involves two related items. I think the rules say, however, that if it's REALLY good news, they don't have to be. THUS:
Two days after the computer crash, I took off for HAWAII! I think anyone would agree that there's no place better on earth than Hawaii to recover from a technological heartbreak.
My mom rented a big house in Oahu, right along the North Shore beach, and she invited all of her children (7) and their spouses. Unfortunately, my spouse had a huge week at work he couldn't miss, so I went stag. Of course, that was good news for all the muscled hotties in Hawaii. :) What happens in Hawaii stays...
I really, really had a great time. It was fun to be with my siblings and their spouses. And I didn't even feel like the...uh...13th wheel. Afterall, I had my Mom, and we make a really cute couple. :)
Now, I'm going to show you some pictures. Keep in mind the Bad News factor--I have no Lappy, therefore I have no Photoshop, therefore I have no superpowers. Okay then.
Here's everyone, minus my sister-in-law, Jan, at the temple.
Here's the view from our house (yummy):
Here's me with two of my brothers, Randy and Marc, at the Polynesian Cultural Center:
Here's me at Hanauma Bay, with my brother Randy. He and I snorkeled, and it was a-ma-zing!! I think that was my favorite thing on the trip.
Hanauma Bay is a protected wildlife preserve, so, before they set you loose on the beach, you have to watch a 9-minute film about how to behave in the water. One of the big things is not to damage the coral, which covers a lot of the bay. I was totally cool with that, signed on the dotted line, and off we went. Randy was very patient with me and let me practice putting my face in the water (Toddler101) as long as I needed. I was just getting brave with it, when I came up for a sec, and found a random woman screaming at me "You're not supposed to stand on the fish!!" Startled, I re-adjusted my mask to clear the hallucination, yet there she still was, yelling at me about the fish. Apparently, the coral had already started, and I was ~gasp~ putting a flipper on it. How that would pin down a seasoned little fishy, I don't know, but I shaped right up. And avoided that mad woman as much as possible. You'd think I'd brought along my harpoon or something.
And here's me with Betsy, our vehicle for the Jungle Expedition (I was really hoping for a Betty, dernit):
I have a few scenery-type pics that I want to share, but I will refrain until I can pretty them up a little with PhotoShop. Those ones REALLY show what I loved about my rendevous with Hawaii, because they capture the "ahhhhhh" moments--when all the planets aligned and I felt whole. The moments when thoughts of my ailing Lappy and mountains of laundry were far, far away.
ahhhhhh
My laptop completely crashed last Sunday. Right before church, when I was trying to print out the parts for the Primary Program I'd spent all week writing. Hubby went home during the 2nd hour to try and fix it. During the 3rd hour, he came to church, pulled me out into the hall, and told me that everything got deleted. EVERYTHING. Ever one to handle disappointment well, I burst into tears right there. It wasn't the primary program that I mourned, or my Dad's life history I've worked on for a month (those realizations happened later)--it was all of those family pictures I hadn't gotten around to backing up. Wave after wave of ugly crying.
Of course, we rushed Lappy to the computer doctor, and she's been there all week. The prognosis is iffy, although fairly positive (I think. I'm no computer doctor...I just play one on TV). We should hear today how much of her they were able to save.
Good news:
I know, usually the bad news/good news program involves two related items. I think the rules say, however, that if it's REALLY good news, they don't have to be. THUS:
Two days after the computer crash, I took off for HAWAII! I think anyone would agree that there's no place better on earth than Hawaii to recover from a technological heartbreak.
My mom rented a big house in Oahu, right along the North Shore beach, and she invited all of her children (7) and their spouses. Unfortunately, my spouse had a huge week at work he couldn't miss, so I went stag. Of course, that was good news for all the muscled hotties in Hawaii. :) What happens in Hawaii stays...
I really, really had a great time. It was fun to be with my siblings and their spouses. And I didn't even feel like the...uh...13th wheel. Afterall, I had my Mom, and we make a really cute couple. :)
Now, I'm going to show you some pictures. Keep in mind the Bad News factor--I have no Lappy, therefore I have no Photoshop, therefore I have no superpowers. Okay then.
Here's everyone, minus my sister-in-law, Jan, at the temple.
Here's the view from our house (yummy):
Here's me with two of my brothers, Randy and Marc, at the Polynesian Cultural Center:
Here's me at Hanauma Bay, with my brother Randy. He and I snorkeled, and it was a-ma-zing!! I think that was my favorite thing on the trip.
Hanauma Bay is a protected wildlife preserve, so, before they set you loose on the beach, you have to watch a 9-minute film about how to behave in the water. One of the big things is not to damage the coral, which covers a lot of the bay. I was totally cool with that, signed on the dotted line, and off we went. Randy was very patient with me and let me practice putting my face in the water (Toddler101) as long as I needed. I was just getting brave with it, when I came up for a sec, and found a random woman screaming at me "You're not supposed to stand on the fish!!" Startled, I re-adjusted my mask to clear the hallucination, yet there she still was, yelling at me about the fish. Apparently, the coral had already started, and I was ~gasp~ putting a flipper on it. How that would pin down a seasoned little fishy, I don't know, but I shaped right up. And avoided that mad woman as much as possible. You'd think I'd brought along my harpoon or something.
And here's me with Betsy, our vehicle for the Jungle Expedition (I was really hoping for a Betty, dernit):
I have a few scenery-type pics that I want to share, but I will refrain until I can pretty them up a little with PhotoShop. Those ones REALLY show what I loved about my rendevous with Hawaii, because they capture the "ahhhhhh" moments--when all the planets aligned and I felt whole. The moments when thoughts of my ailing Lappy and mountains of laundry were far, far away.
ahhhhhh
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